My Grandpa McKinsey

Thanksgiving was special this year because we were celebrating my Grandpa McKinsey's 93rd birthday. He was born on Thanksgiving Day 93 years ago. It was both happy and sad to watch him yesterday. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer over a year ago. The doctor's said he had less tan 6 months to live, and like Grandpa, he's already beat those odds. He was in a lot of pain yesterday and when my brother asked us if we should go, he said, "No, no, I'm having such a good time watching everyone. Please don't leave." And then, quietly, he said, "I don't want this to be the last time I see everyone." Of course, I was holding back the tears and quickly started looking at all his birthday cards, while everyone said, "Oh, Paul, you look great. Don't say that! Yadda, yadda."

My Grandpa and I have always been extremely close. In fact, he was the my only Grandparent I ever knew. My Grandmother on my Dad's side died before I was born. My Grandmother on my Mom's side died when I was 5. My other Grandpa died when I was 8. Grandpa McKinsey is the only one I got close with, shared memories with, and spent time with. When I see my own daughter with her Grandparents, I am so happy because this was something I never had. I never had that special bond with my own Grandmothers, simply because they weren't alive when I was growing up. I love that she will grow close to them and have this special connection that only grandparents and grandkids can know. Grandpa and I went to Rhode Island for a couple of summers when I was a kid to visit relatives. I slept over at his house many times and we'd watch the Lawrence Welk Show together. He took me to the YMCA to swim. Now I swim with him once in a while, at Woodcrest Villa, where he lives. He came on vacations with our family, and stayed with me a couple of times when my parents went on trips. We loved being together.

He is still sharp as a whip! He can tell us every story from his life. His childhood, WWII days, and about my Mom when she was young. I could sit for hours and listen to him. He's smart and has worked hard to be where he's at now. He borrowed money from a lady on his paper route to attend Franklin & Marshall, got a law degree from Dickinson, and opened up his own business after the war. He has made so many friends along the way and has a beautiful family to show for it.

He absolutely adores McKinsey. He holds her and talks to her every chance he gets. I'll never forget him sitting in the hospital after she was born, holding her, and saying "From McKinsey to McKinsey." Tears are in my eyes just remembering that memory! I know she made his night watching her play on the floor, her completely oblivious to everthing else going on. I can't wait for us to share many more memories together. Keep fighting Grandpa!

Happy Thanksgiving!

WOW! It is good to be through November. It was a fun, busy, and stressful month. It started with parent/teacher conferences. I had them before, during, and after school for almost 2 weeks. I joked that out of the entire month, there were only 2 mornings that I did not have a meeting of some sort! Following the conferences, I had a 3 day, hour long, observation by my building principal. It went really well and the feedback I received was all positive. I love my school, the people I work with, and the students. It was also my birthday month and ended with a 5 day Thanksgiving Break! So, it was a good month, just busy.

I can't believe my little nugget is almost 8-months-old! How did this happen? I LOVE the stage she is in right now. She's crawling everywhere, and fast. She's opening cabinets, crawling under tables, and chairs, and getting into everything. I'm scared to think about what it will be like when she's walking! She still loves playing peek-a-boo. She plays too, putting the blanket over her head and taking it off. She just smiles up a storm when we play. She's learning to wave "hi" and "bye-bye." It's so fun to help her learn these things! She's continuing to get more and more settled with her caregivers. She doesn't cry when I leave and smiles when I arrive--which makes it so much easier for me. She's very alert and loves being out and about. She gets bored easily and doesn't like to be left alone anywhere. She's happiest when I wear her in a baby Bjorn so she can see the world. She's such a good baby.

I've been praying lately for God to make it clear to me whether I should continue to teach (next year). I pray this prayer daily. There are some days when I say to myself: I love what I do, and I feel like I am really making a difference in the lives of children. Teaching young children is not always an easy task, but I absolutely love it. I love my school, the people I work with, and the kids. I am enjoying the "teaching" part this year so much because it's familiar, and I have routines in place that I know "work" and materials saved from the previous year. What a difference that makes! However, on the flip side, I hate being away from McKinsey. I think about her all day long, wondering what she's doing, if she misses me, and how I can't wait to be home with her. I email or call at least once just to see how she's doing. I can't help it. I just see myself being a stay-at-home Mom--something I've always wanted. I do believe God will provide financially for our family if we choose this. Please Lord spell it out in the clouds for me! I guess I have some time...

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Little Pumpkin

I can't believe we've been in school for over two months! Last post I wrote, I had just gone back to work, and I wrote about how hard it was leaving Kinsey each day. I wish I could say it's been easier, but it hasn't. Yes, the routine is in place. Yes, the flow of the mornings has gotten easier. However, leaving her each morning is still the same--incredibly difficult. Sometimes I tell myself to "suck it up" because a lot of Moms have to go back to work and don't have a choice. Some Moms have to work long, long hours, and barely get home in time to tuck their little ones in bed. I guess I have it "made" for a working Mom. Each morning, I drop her off or leave her with Grandmas' or Momma Nolt's House. Who can beat that? She has the best care in the world, that I do know. Kinsey usually wakes up around 6:30AM. I nurse her, get her dressed, get myself dressed, get ready (which is increasingly becoming more and more difficult now that she's mobile), and eat breakfast. Take 2 loads out to the car, then load her in, and then off we go. I usually call or text once or twice to see how my little nugget is. (It's one of my favorite parts of the day!). I'm still breastfeeding, so I have some motherly duties to attend to during lunch. Then I leave as soon as the kids do, and race home to her. We play, cuddle, read for several hours until bedtime. Housework and schoolwork waits. It has too. However, even though I couldn't ask for better care and a job that allows me to leave when I do, I still tear up in the car almost every day after I leave her. I just feel like I'm missing out on everything. I live for the weekends, when I can wake up with her and Mitch and not have to race out the door. When I can put her down for a nap, and know exactly what she's doing all day. Mitch is so good about reassuring me and praying each night. Having a baby has definitely strengthened our marriage.

Anyway, enough complaining from me! My little pumpkin is almost 7 months old! If I can describe her in two words I would say "alert and active!" She takes everything in and loves looking all around. She can sit up by herself, crawl on all fours, pull herself up to a standing position, and just recently, conquered the stairs. She's on the move! Baby-proofing begins! She's starting to get strange at times, and definitely wants someone in the room with her all the time. It takes her a little bit to smile and laugh. You have to be really funny for her to let out a good belly laugh. She hates being put "in" things. She loves it best when she roams free. However, Momma Nolt, finds the most success in the Baby Bjon, which Kinsey loves! Kinsey also loves dogs. Cocoa and Miles definitely entertain her during the day.

Her daddy absolutely adores her. My favorite thing about seeing them together is when he is reading to her. Every night he sits in the big ugly blue chair and reads 5 Little Lady Bugs and The Best Nest. He uses all different voices and really attends to punctuation (teach jargon). She amazingly sits pretty still and listens. I love it! She's going to be a Daddy's Girl, I can just tell.

Loving Being a Mommy:)

Mommy Goes Back to Work

Last Monday marked my first day back at work since Kinsey was born. I had been dreading it for some time, and I knew it was going to be incredibly hard leaving her. Well, it was. I cried each morning and thought about her all day long. I texted and emailed to see how she was doing and raced out the door as fast as I could to go home to be with her. Other working moms tell me it gets easier each day, and I certainly hope they are right because right now I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about not being with her during the day.

It's funny how much your priorities change when you have kids. I used to stay late each day at work and sometimes go in on the weekends. I hated getting up early and would sleep in as late as possible. Now, I get up when Kinsey gets up and I leave work as soon as I can to be with her. I pray that she sleeps all day long so I don't miss anything. I hold her in my arms if she falls asleep in the evening. I love feeding her and looking into her eyes as she drifts off to sleep. I just can't get enough of her.

There are a couple of positives about working that's holding me together. One is the fact that it will be all about family when I'm home from work. Housework, laundry, and schoolwork can wait. The beds don't need to be made every day. We can eat leftovers two nights in a row. There can be weeds in the garden. She is only going to be this little for such a short time, and I'm trying to savor every moment of it. Another positive is Kinsey will get close with her Grandma's. Grandparents can have such a special bond with their grandkids and I want Kinsey to have that. She will really grow to love them and be comfortable with them. I also love teaching and spending time with my students each day.

So keep us in your prayers over these next few weeks. Pray that each day gets easier and that I can trust God with his plans for our family. I pray that she adjusts to the new schedule, new routines, and new people in her life and that she is well taken care of. I also pray that my workload and Mitch's workload could be lightened so that we can spend even more time with her. I also pray that our marriage stays strong and that we can make time for each other through all the craziness. We just love being parents to our beautiful daughter!

Summer Vacations!

Mitch said the other day, "I think Kinsey has traveled more in her first 4 months of life, than I have in my own lifetime!" He might be right. We just arrived back from our 3rd and final vacation this summer. We've been busy! First, we celebrated Brandon and Jen's marriage on June 25th, followed by a beautiful week at the beach. The very next weekend, Mitch was in another wedding, for his best friend Steve Zerphy. In July, we took a weeklong roadtrip to Maine. We made stops in Cooperstown, NY, Freeport, ME, and Boothbay, ME before stopping in Bar Harbor. Our Maine trip was beautiful. We took two boat rides, saw Harbor Seals, ate lobster, and took in the breathtaking views of Acadia National Park. When we go back, we definitely want to spend more time in the National Park. On the way home, we stopped at West Point. It was a great trip with Dad and his friend Lucy--we covered over 1500 miles! The only negative was that Kinsey developed an extreme dislike for her car seat. Poor thing! Three weeks after Maine, we went camping at Bald Eagle State Park with Mitch's family. I wasn't so sure about camping with an infant, but it went better than expected. We bought a HUGE tent, that will last us for a long time. We set up Kinsey's pack and play and a chair to nurse her in. Most of the days went well, but we did spend one afternoon at Walmart to escape the heat. On the way back from camping, we stopped in Altoona to visit college roommates (Kristi and Dan), which was fun. We wished we could have stayed longer, but we had to get home for a bridal shower for Misha and Matt! Their wedding is September 5th. Needless to say, life doesn't slow down!

"Depression mode" is starting to seep in because school is starting in less than 2 weeks. I'm really struggling with leaving McKinsey and I hope we make the adjustment as easily as possible. There are some days when I just start crying and don't know how I will possibly get up every morning and say goodbye. I hope it makes me realize that the time I do get to spend with her needs to quality time. Dishes can wait. Laundry can pile up. School work now comes second to family (at all times). I'm praying that God helps us through this transition--I know he will-I just need to trust him.

3 Months Old!

I can't believe my little girl is 3 months old! She has grown and developed so much in 3 months, it will be exciting to see what another 3 months will bring. I'm trying to savor and cherish every moment, every first. I know that I will blink and her baby stage will be over. McKinsey is a great baby! Here are some of her "accomplishments" in her first three months of life.

She is a great sleeper at night. We usually put her down around 10ish (after feeding her) and she doesn't wake up until 8am. She isn't a great napper and sometimes it's hard to get her to sleep during the day. She looks at me like, "There's just too much going on Mommy! I can't sleep NOW." She does take about 3 one hour naps and sometimes a cat nap in the evening. Nursing is going well and I like the time we get to spend together. It's definitely a bonding experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world. She has mastered rolling from her back to belly with no effort at all. She rolls over when I'm changing her, playing with her, and while she is sleeping. She likes to lay on her belly and watch this bear thing that plays music. She will sit and listen to us read to her. She even watches the TV sometimes (just looks at the color and lights...don't worry not introducing the TV). She is very alert and very active. That's the best way I can describe her. She refuses to be held like a baby (sideways) because she can't see anything, so we always are holding her upright so she can see out. When Daddy holds her what we call "the position" and she will instantaneously go from sad to happy. She wiggles out of her bouncer, so we have to strap her in now. She's not a hug fan of the swing, but she will go in it if you are talking to her. She smiles when she sees Mitch and I and occasionally for a stranger that's talking to her. After a long day of nursing and changing a million diapers and playing rocking and talking, nothing melts my heart more than a smile. It's so heartfelt--nothing to describe it.

One thing is for sure--I never knew I could love this much until I had McKinsey. It's like "where did all this love come from?" You become so selfless, you have to be. There are some days where I don't eat lunch until 2pm because she needs me. And that's okay. There are days when it's just not worth all the hassle to run errands. You have to plan everything around eat/feed/sleep schedules! I know it will get better when she's older, but right now, it's busy. And that's okay too.

Brandon and Jen's Wedding

On Saturday, June 19th, 2010, we welcomed Jen into the Swords Family. And we couldn't be happier. Jen and Brandon had a wonderful wedding and a fantastic reception. McKinsey was all dressed up in a white dress with little white booties. She did pretty well watching with me from the back of the church:) Mitch and the rest of the bridal party got to ride in the stretch SUV Limo, which was absolutely HUGE.  Kinsey stayed with my mom for the evening, so Mitch and I enjoyed our first evening out as parents. It was great! 

Jen was a beautiful bride--stunning is the better word. Brandon looked just as handsome and I wish I could have captured his face with a picture as she walked down the aisle. My favorite part of the wedding was watching the slideshow of the couple as we were waiting to be served at the reception. I LOVE pictures, so I had fun going from table to table to look at their photo centerpieces as well. 

We also had the privilege to spend some time with the newlyweds at the beach before they left on their Mediterranean Cruise. I am so lucky to have Jen as a sister-in-law! 

Our Little Joy

I can't believe our little girl is 7 weeks old! It has been a great 7 weeks filled with sleepless nights, diaper explosions, numerous laundry loads, spit-ups, walks, and smiles. The smiles, by far, have been our most favorite. Kinsey is sleeping about five hours through the night, sometimes less, and her newest thing is cluster feeding all evening long. It makes for a very long evening--I hope it doesn't last too long. She enjoys going on walks, usually falling asleep, and our favorite time together is in the mornings after she has been fed. She will lay next to me and smile up a storm. It's precious. I just can't get enough of her. A lot of people have been asking me what I have been doing to stay busy. I think a Mom can only understand there's plenty, yet you seem like you have nothing to show for it. When Mitch gets home and asks about my day, I find I'm at a loss for words. I'm not really sure what I did all day--fed, burped, changed...repeat. During naps, I race around the house picking things up, putting dishes away, folding laundry, and watering the flowers. The day really does fly. I have been catching up on some household things like fixing the leaky faucet, managing and updating our bank accounts, and taking loose coins to the bank (we had $218 dollars worth!!). I could definitely be a stay at home Mom...I don't even want to think about next fall.

The latest news and answer to prayer has been Mitch's new position! He is moving to teach 6th grade at Pequea Valley Middle School (same district). We couldn't be more thrilled. After 2 tumultuous years in 4th grade, the switch is so exciting and reassuring. Hopefully he'll be working with people who will support and encourage him now. It's been a long two years for him. :(

We sat down the other evening to look at our summer calendar. Yikes! June is gone with weddings and a trip to the beach. Every weekend in July is taken, and August doesn't look much better. I got discouraged that we have so much planned...I hate busyness. Hopefully we can relax during the week days, eat breakfast on the porch, read the bible, and take walks with Kinsey. I even ordered porch furniture the other night because I wanted to sit on my porch so badly!

God has blessed us so much this Spring--a healthy baby, a new job, and a new outlook. He is so merciful and gracious and I need to slow down, savor every day with Kinsey, and thank God for all he has done for me.

McKinsey's Story

The day had finally arrived...or so I thought! Never would I have believed that at this time the following day, my little one would still be in warm and cozy in the womb. I had been feeling sad that I had not gone into labor yet (on Tuesday, April 6th, it had been 9 days past my due date), and didn't want to be induced the following day. I wanted it to just "happen." On Tuesday morning, around 7am, just as Mitch was leaving for work, I started feeling my first contractions. I told Mitch to go, because this was not the first time I had felt contractions and they always seemed to just go away. About 2 hours later, I called Mitch to tell them they weren't going away and were getting stronger and stronger. Mitch quickly told his principal and was soon on his way home. It wasn't until around t 11:00am when they started getting harder and more intense, about 3-4 minutes apart for 45 seconds. I called my doctor and she told us to come in. We drove into Woman and Babies only to find out I was only dilated 3 cm. They won't admit you until you are least 4 cm dilated. They told us to walk around and come back 2 hours later to see if I had progressed any more. Two hours later my contractions were taking my breath away and were coming every 3:30 for more like 60 seconds. The doctor examined me and told me that I was still 3cm! I could tell she felt sorry for me, but told me to go home and relax. Take a hot shower and walk. She said that she expected to see me later that evening, and was pretty sure that by then I would be dilated enough to admit me. I was in so much pain when we got home, but we walked around Lititz, took a hot shower, and did all those "childbirth relaxation techniques." At around 7 that night, I couldn't take it anymore and we decided to head back in. If anything, I was hoping they would take me since I was getting induced the following morning. They contractions were coming so quick that I didn't think I could make it through the night. So, we went back in to find that, yes, yet again I was only 3 cm! I wanted to cry. I think I did. The doctor said she had no idea how this could be happening because I was in active labor. She decided to keep me and break my water to help get things going. They broke my water around 2 AM and checked me at about 4am and again 3 CM! it did get things going because my contractions really intensified. Finally, at 4:30am, they suggested that I get an epidural because I was too exhausted and my contractions were coming to close together to get any break. I think I only grabbed Mitch's shirt once and yelled "I AM RELAXING!" I felt wimpy getting one at 3cm dilated, but I'm glad I did. I went to sleep--it was WONDERFUL!

To make a long story short, they put me on pitocian in the AM Wednesday hoping to intensify my contractions ( I had an epitural) and open the cervix. That lasted most of the day Wednesday. I got to 7 cm with pitocian, which as GREAT, but then got stuck. Waiting and waiting, but nothing. My cervix was then beginning to swell, and they said that they would advise a C-Section. They didn't think the baby was big, but they weren't sure what was the problem. They said the baby might have been angled wrong, which might have caused me not to be able to dilate. Sometimes things like this happen. Definitely not the end result I expected, but the product (McKinsey) was amazing. She's beautiful, and it's so amazing to see Mitch with is daughter. WOW! He's amazing:)

McKinsey is a very healthy baby and is thriving in this new world. She spends her days eating, sleeping, and pooping--sounds great doesn't it? We are enjoying and savoring every minute of being a Mommy and a Daddy, and feel blessed beyond words with this little miracle God created within us.

We can't wait for you to meet our newest addition!

Still Waiting

I'm not sure why--but I was convinced I'd have my little one early. I just assumed that by the time Easter rolled around we would all be settled here at home and loving every minute of our newest addition. However, fast forward to one day before Easter, and this baby of ours is still rolling around in my tummy, seeming very content with where it's at (much to his parents dislike!). I've felt disappointed, sad, and frustrated these last few days wondering why I haven't gone into labor yet. I've tried everything--washing the floor on my hands and knees, cleaning everything in sight, walking miles every day, and, well...you know. Yet still, no baby. Everyone says the baby will come when the baby is ready, but I hope he or she decides sooner is better than later! Perhaps we'll have an Easter baby... The good news is that we will be parents before next Thursday for sure and that really makes me smile :) C'mon Baby Swords--we're ready to hold you!!

Snow!

Snowy days are fun...they give you a great excuse to sit around all day and do nothing. Hooray! Mitch and I shoveled out the car and took a walk around Lititz. It was beautiful! We took lots of pictures. Mitch enjoyed jumping off our picnic table in the back while I took video footage. I wish we could have gone sledding, but I don't think my doctor would have allowed me to do that at 8 months pregnant! Enjoy the pictures:)

Why I Love My Husband...

I think that perhaps what many marriages are missing is the sound of laughter. When you're married to someone like my husband, there is never a day void of laughter. We live in a relationship where we can laugh at each other and not be sensitive about it. Here a some examples from the past week of what it's like in the Swords' household...enjoy!

The big discussion in our household lately has been whether we are having a boy or girl. Mitch is convinced we are having a boy, and I am pretty sure that we are having a girl. It is common knowledge (at least among pregnant woman) that if you are shaped like a basketball you are having a boy, and if you are shaped like a football, you are having a girl. Most pregnant woman want to look like a basketball, because that means you go out rather than side to side. Anyway, I asked Mitch the other day which he thought I looked like, a football or basketball? "Oh, definitely, football," he replied without flinching. "What! That means I look fat!" (I can blame the outburst on pregnancy hormones, right?) "No, I meant a football that's in a tee ready for kickoff." "Oh, okay." (He so got out of that one!)

This morning was the usual Mitch...(and I say this with complete love). He is in the kitchen getting some lunch. I hear grunts and "oh mans" and look over. Each time Mitch has spilled something new--coffee grounds water, then coffee beans, and finally cheezits (he likes to munch as he gets something ready to eat). He claims to have picked them up, but evidently not well enough because their was a trail of cheezit crumbs all over the kitchen. I was sitting at the table dying of laughter at this point.

Like I said, we share our funny moments and write them on our "Dearly Beloved Quote Board" so we can remember all the funny things that happen. I guess with our new arrival on the way, things will only get funnier!

Getting Closer...

I am 30 weeks today! Wow! The time has flown by so quickly. I can still remember laying in bed those first few weeks going back and forth between the bathroom and my bed and thinking "What is wrong!?" I soon found out that these frequent visits to the bathroom would really turn out to be the most amazing news of my life. I was expecting! The first 12 weeks, were, not as fun as at the middle of pregnancy. By then, I was full at life, enjoying watching my belly grow, and still having energy to do the things I wanted to do. The third trimester, so far, as been good as well. I do feel a bit more tired, and I have a strict bedtime, but I still have the energy to keep up with 25 seven-year-olds day in and day out. My diet still consists primarily of red potatoes with ketchup, raisin bagels with jelly, salad, yogurt, and fudge pops. My little guy (or girl) wiggles, kicks, and moves around so much! I absolutely love laying in bed before I fall asleep and watching the baby move side to side and up and down. Watching little legs or arms poke out this way and that. I love it even more when Mitch comes up and puts his head down on my stomach to feel the baby move inside of me. It's the first of the many incredibly feelings that are yet to come.

With all that being said, I have been incredibly emotional these past few weeks. I go from being totally obsessed with the baby and can't stop thinking and dreaming about him or her, to crying because of the baby. With the impending time-line approaching I can't help but to think how much our lives will change with this new arrival. I love my life now, with Mitch, and I couldn't be happier in my marriage with him. And no, I'm not just saying that. We really do have something special. I don't want that to change. I feel cheated that my time with him was so short and now we will have to share our time with someone else...for the next 18 years! I'm sure what I'm feeling is completely normal, but I feel guilty for feeling this way. I just am worried about how things will change. One thing I do know...husband and wife time will remain an important factor in our marriage and is vital in keeping it healthy and strong. Babysitters are welcome!

I pray for these next 10 weeks that the baby will stay healthy and that the delivery and birth goes well:)

Our Family

Mitch and I have had a whirlwind of "new beginnings" over the last two years. After dating for three years, Mitch proposed on June 19th, 2007 at the Bethany Beach. Since that day, our lives together have been filled with rich and wonderful blessings. After graduating from college with elementary education degrees in May 2008, we sought to find jobs in the area as well as plan our August wedding. Despite some worrying and Mitch wondering if he and his new bride would be on food stamps, we were both offered jobs in our field. I, as a long-term substitute in 1st grade in the Manheim Township School District, and he, as a 4th grade teacher in the Pequea Valley School District.

On August 1st, 2008, we made a commitment to one another that we would spend the rest of our lives together. And what a joy that has been thus far. Like I told the priest who married us a few months later, marriage isn't always easy, but it's so worth it. Taking time to care about the other person, knowing his wants and needs, and trying your best to fulfill them takes time and effort. We couldn't be happier, and I truly know I have found my soul mate. The saying "today I married my best friend, " is true for us.

In March 2009, we bought our first house! We took advantage of low interest rates, an 8,000 tax credit, and an awesomely priced house. This house was truly a blessing from God, and I know it will be a home filled with memories to come. God is so good!

Even though we like to keep things interesting, we were surprised to find out in August that we would be welcoming a new member into our family! We shared the news, first, to Mitch's family while camping at Bald Eagle State Park. We couldn't very well hide it since I was not feeling all that well those first couple of weeks. We later shared with my parents. They were all excited for the "parents-to-be!"

Pregnancy, thus far, has been fun. It didn't start out so fun for me, who spent many of those first weeks in the bathroom, but the 2nd trimester was one of joy. Realizing that we created this life, and that we will be responsible for it was both thrilling and nerve wracking! With only three more months to go, this baby bump just won't stop growing! :) I can't see my feet when I am standing and stretching and tying my shoes are getting harder and harder. The baby kicks all the time, and it's awesome when Mitch can feel the baby kick and when he talks to him or her. We don't know the sex of the baby and it's getting so hard for me!! I hope these next three months go quickly!