Just some thoughts from your everyday Mom....

It's time to put these wrestling thoughts on paper....

It's been about three months now that I finished Jen Hatmaker's book 7--An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. If you want to be challenged and have your convictions explode at a high level, I recommend you read this book. I have a copy--borrow it anytime:) In this book, Jen, a normal Mom by everyday standards, takes a strong stand against all the stuff present in our lives. From food, to clothing, technology, money, and time, she doesn't miss a beat. Neither did I as I was reading it. Aside from this book, my personal time spent in the Word and in prayer, I am starting to circulate some thoughts, some convictions, and things I feel to be truth.

*Disclaimer: I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. All these things are THOUGHTS. I wish I could say they are more than that right now. But they aren't. Well, maybe, barely (on a good day).
-I live in a 2,000 + square food home.
-We drive two decent looking (depending on who you ask) cars.
-Our total income exceeds $35,000 a year, so we are automatically in the top 4 percent of the world's wealthiest people.
-My attic is still FILLED with things...and I just went through it.
-My own clothing drawers and closets are teeming with clothes. So much so that for our entire family, I have to take keep summer/winter clothes in totes under the bed.
-My kids have too many toys. Period.
-We take two nice vacations each year.
-I check facebook every day and I eat ice cream once a week.
-We give to our church and to the poor, but not nearly enough.
--and the list could go on and on.

Okay, so here we go! I will touch on two major points in this entry and hope to finish the next two in another entry.

#1. In Luke Chapter 12, Jesus says, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” 
Stuff: Jen Hatmaker did a little experiment. She counted all the articles of clothing and shoes (winter and summer) in her closet and counted around 300 things. Try it. You'll be surprised at how much you have. She counted belts, undies, and coats. Everything. If each item costs around $10 (some will be less, say, like socks, and some will be more, cute summer dress, running sneakers). That's nearly $3,000 just sitting in your CLOSEST! I challenged myself to weed/sort through clothes this Spring. I was horrified. Let's just say I'm no fashionista and would never buy anything not on sale. And let me just say, consignments shops, Kohls, and sometimes Target are the only places I shop. Yikes. How many articles of clothing do you have? Do you do the wash weekly? I think we all have more than enough clothing.

 I had a friend from church tell me this example. She and her husband are using their old silverware from college...banged up and in less than perfect condition. They have a brand new set hidden somewhere. She asked herself "Why do you need both?" And she wrestled with, "Okay, do I give the new set away or the old?" Such a great example! I have silverware in my attic that someone gave me when we first married (used). I hesitated to get rid of it because what if my kids need it some day when they move out (you know, in like twenty years from now)? Really Alli. That's ridiculous. What about taking with us camping? Again, ridiculous. Camping is hard enough--plastic is a necessity. At least to me. I rough it enough with a tent:)

How many toys do your kids have? How many dolls does a girl need? How do we make sure our kids don't feel entitled? You know, sometimes I just WANT to buy my kid something. That's not a horrible thing. For many people, we love showering those we love with gifts.  But enough is enough! Ask me this next Christmas, but Mitch and I really have a vision for next Christmas: something you can wear, something you can play with, something you can read, and somewhere you can go. There's other ideas reflecting the meaning of Christmas we came up with as well, but that was a big one. Ask me in December, if we followed through with it, but right now we are really excited about it. I seriously fear my children feeling like the are entitled to their every want and desire. Once you teeter into that realm, it's hard to go back! Let us give our kids endless amounts of love and time, not endless amounts of meaningless stuff.

Here's a practical challenge for you. Take one month, 4 weeks, 31 days, whatever, and committ to getting rid of 7 things each day. If this sounds ridiculously easy or really hard (maybe you've already plunged into decluttering), change the number. It's not the number the counts, but the motive behind it!

#2. Serving
1 Peter 4:10
In Peter Chapter 4, God commands, "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."
I know my "gift" right now needs to be focusing on being a good wife and a mother to my young children. I know this sounds silly in this day and age. I have a close friend, who knew that what she truly wanted in life was to be a "wife and a mother." Wow...nowadays that doesn't sound like much, but how truly selfless that is! I still hang onto my "title" as teacher because in some way that makes me feel a little more "successful" on paper? I don't know, I just need to stop that.

 God uses many verses in the bible commanding parents to raise children up in the way of the Word, to administer correction, and to teach them to love others. That is a HUGE responsibility and takes a great amount of time. The area of discipleship that I am trying to devote all my time to right now are my two babes. I want them to know and love Jesus and I want to know they will be with me in heaven. However, without going into a working Mom vs. stay-at-home conversation, children can turn out to be Christ followers without having their mother hovering over them 24/7. I think about in other cultures where the demands of physical work to survive do not enable a mother to be present all the time. Or a single mother who works two jobs to support her family. My sister-in-law is a working Mom and oh, my nephews are gems! This is soley my belief, but I think sometimes we hide behind "things" so that we don't have to serve. For instance, when my children get older, then I can serve. When I'm done driving my children around to all their activities, I'll serve. As soon as my aging parents don't need us anymore, then I'll serve. As soon as I'm retired, I'll serve. Umm... get my point? Just serve already!! It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be elaborate, but when you hear of a need and know you can do it. Do it! I know of programs at our church that can't happen because there's no one to serve. It's easy in a big church to "hide" to fade away from the lime light. But c'mon, use your gifts. There was a Mom at a meeting I went to a few weeks ago regarding an upcoming church event, that has seven young girls at home! Praise God for her willing heart, sustained energy, and a husband that sees the value in serving.

I need to be careful not to overcommit. It's easy to do. Your family needs to come first. Period.
But sometimes I wonder, because I'm guilty of this, if we actually added up the time we spent with our kids, our husbands, in the Word, sleeping, cooking, cleaning, checking email/facebook, exercising, driving, shopping, watching TV, putting on our makeup and showering, if we would be shocked? Just another challenge. Disclaimer* I need to participate in these challenges too!

So in summary, I've been challenged by so much these past few months. Sometimes I love that, and sometimes I hate it! I tend to compare too much, worry more than I need too, and question my mothering instincts more than I should. But I'm blessed by an amazing, hard working husband, two adorable healthy kids, the best job ever (at least most days), an extended family who cares, and wonderful girlfriends to do life with (aka to stay sane with!). 

Yikes, has it really been almost a year since my last post? That is so discouraging, but at the same time, as a Mom of two small children, who babysits on the side, and is married to a teacher, it's easy to understand. My, much has happened during my ten month absence, so let me just give some highlights.

A few things I've learned over the year...
-Vacations are so much better when you have children!! Really, I mean that! Yes, when you have small, small children, they are not super relaxing, but last summer, watching Kinsey have so much fun, just brought back so many amazing memories for Mitch and I and the days of our childhood. It's like reliving them all over again. I know not all families can financially afford to take a vacation, but I promise you, it's a good investment. Not only are you making memories for your child and with your own family, but your extended family as well. Priceless.

-Parenting is so humbling. I mean, trying to convince a two-year-old to share, in front of a whole bunch of people, as she has the death grip on a favorite toy (or not so favorite toy), and turning red and trying to make excuses why she has trouble with this, is, well embarrassing!! I used to take her small imperfections as a reflection of our parenting. Are we not modeling enough? Does she see us do this? Do we play with kids who won't share? We've learned that unfortunately, there comes a day, when our little, perfect angels who only sleep, cry, and poop, develop--how can I say this--a personality? Some kids are laid back (lucky you!), some have trouble sharing and being kind, some are extremely strong-willed, some are sassy, and some are strubborn. And most are a combination of all of these. So...how are we fixing this sharing issue? No big secret--continued modeling of sharing, encouraging sharing, praising her when she does share, and our biggest ingredient--praying for a heart change!! We can see it already working:) I'm blessed not to have a strong-willed child, just one incredibly attached to possessions. Yikes! And Colin, hmmm...I guess time will tell.

-I get more showers on the weekends and evenings. Why? Well, Mitch is home. Showering during the day equals fear of what's happening outside the door, or a bathroom that is completely destroyed. I mean completely. Showering when someone else is home, makes it feel like an escape. Lock the door and let them knock. And knock. And knock. Singing loudly can tune some of that noise out.  Yes, when I'm in the bathroom and Mitch is home--I'm at Hershey Hotel and Spa for all I care!

-Grocery shopping at 10pm? It's just easier! As a night owl, it's worth it for me. And believe it or not, I'm not alone. There's a culture of us there at that time. We just smile and nod at each other as we get out our coupon books and calculator. Fill our carts with the healthiest foods we can find for under $5 and some fruit snacks and lollipops to stuff in diaper bags for emergencies. Date night ice cream that we pull out after the kids get in  bed is stashed in there too.

-So...what was harder? Going from zero to one or from one to two? I get this question a lot. To be honest, going from zero to one was so much fun (hard fun) that I don't really think about it as difficult. You don't know what to expect, so you have no expectations. Going from one to two wasn't too bad because you are still, as one friend refers it, man to man defense. A Sunday morning usually looks like this, "Okay, you got Kins? Okay, I got Colin's shoes...yadda yadda." I have heard, though, going from two to three can put you over the edge. Ha!

-Five years into your marriage, your man should still be the number one priority (other than Jesus) in your life. Sometimes it's hard to put each other as a top priority, and I wish I could type here that I do that absolutely, 100 percent of the time. The days can be long and the last thing on your mind is making sure you are meeting his needs. However, when Mitch and I meet each others needs (and how different they are!), the unity between us continues to grow, mature, and develop in ways I would have never thought on the day we said, "I do." Of course, I have to say, I'm a pretty lucky lady because Mitch is a pretty good guy! He makes it easy for me to meet his needs. Sorry, it's my blog and I love bragging about him!

-That I have the cutest kids in the world and the smartest. Obviously! Only a parent can love and appreciate the funny, quirky, weird gibberish they say. That Kinsey needs both blankies, a cup of water, baby Megan, a pile high of books at the bottom of the bed, and bear night light on before she falls asleep (typing this makes me think this is borderline ridiculous)!  How Colin has to be turned just the right way when we lay him in his crib so he falls asleep. When making ridiculous faces makes them laugh so hard, you find yourself doing it over and over just to hear those baby giggles and praying no one walks in to see you in the weirdest position ever with your hair flipped upside down! Being up in a smoldering hot attic digging out an old train JUST because someone is begging to play with it.  I hope this doesn't make me sound like a pushover parent. I do set limits and no is used plenty at this house, but I just love seeing my kids happy. No one can argue with that!

-Finally, and most importantly, thank goodness for the grace the Lord Jesus gives us! I think he gives an extra special amount of grace to us Moms:) Last night at my brother-in-laws graduation from Kingdom Ministry School, he gave a keynote address. In it, he said this: I never thought I was a leader. I just didn't think I had the leadership qualities to pursue a vision in this area. But as I heard one of our teachers pray, I realize that I can use the leadership qualities that God did give me, and ask Him to equip me with the rest." WOW!!! How selfish is it to think that God can't and won't make us leaders, visionaries, devoted spouses, great Moms, and a Proverbs 31 Women. I grew up with someone in my life saying "this is just the way I am" all the time. NO, God can equip us with much more than that and can transform negative qualities when you are ready to start confessing them. Start praying for Him to give you what you think you lack-- o accomplish something you fell led to accomplish! Thanks for reading!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6